Change of plans . . .

Original post written Nov 2011…

Halloween came and went and there was NO surgery.

To make a long story short, I failed the pre-op tests that determined whether I was a candidate for this particular surgery. I had been scheduled for two or three nerve blocks (injections) to make sure the surgery would do what it was intended to do — take away the pain.

The nerve blocks didn’t work. I did not get numb, which is a key indicator of success or failure. For whatever reason, when Dr. D. injected the anesthetic, it did not work as expected. There was no feeling of numbness, no let up of my pain. Which also meant that there would be no surgery.

I was relieved and disappointed at the same time. Relieved because I really wasn’t looking forward to being cut on again and going through surgery recovery. Disappointed because now I had to figure out Plan B.


I took a couple of weeks just to let the dust settle. I didn’t even know what I was feeling. I had been on the surgery path for so long, so sure of my conviction that I had found the answer, that it was hard to fathom any other solution. But it was time to regroup.

What was next?  What was left?  I had tried so many treatments unsuccessfully that a feeling of failure was setting in.


Did this mean I was destined to be an invalid for the rest of my life? Was there nothing left to be done?

Since I had been unable to find a cure or even improvement in my symptoms, I decided my focus had to be reducing my PAIN. The pain was my enemy, and I would attack it next. I didn’t know what that would entail, but that would be my next area of research: Pain Relief.


2 responses to “Change of plans . . .

  1. Hi Lottanerve,

    I am a french patient with PN Desease for 10 YEARS now.
    I am on PUDENDAL HOPE site also. My name is Iris.
    When reading how great you feel now, I am tempted to try the pump.
    But one question bothers me : can you have still relationship with your husband ? Where is located the place you need to have injections ?
    How often do you refill the “bag” ?

    Thanks so much for your explanations

    GOD bless you


  2. Hi Iris,
    I’m sorry to hear you have PN. It really is a devastating disease.
    In my case, sex was not even on the radar by the time I had my pump trial. I was just trying to find a way to endure the pain. We had not attempted sex for a couple of years when I got the pump. Now that I am feeling better we have a chance to rebuild that part of our relationship… Just snuggling and watching a movie or going out on a “date” feel pretty miraculous to us!

    My refills are done through my abdomen, right over the pump. My nurse finds the little rubber port under my skin and gently guides the needle in through my skin. It doesn’t hurt, especially after all the surgeries and other painful “treatments” I’ve been through!!

    The pump is actually a metal circular shape, the size of a hocky puck! Depending on how much medication you use. This is all programmed by a computer that monitors amount and flow rate of medications.
    For information and pictures that show the pump, go to:

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